And All I Knew Was That My Priorities Had Changed Now

I was a young girl when my mother passed away suddenly. So the responsibility of running a home fell on my shoulders. After a couple of years my father started pestering me to get married. For a long time, I kept postponing it. I would tell my father that I was happy with my job and was earning well too. So I didn’t want to get married now.

That is when my father got a proposal for me from a boy who lived in a joint family. It’s really rare to find the concept of a joint family these days. So naturally, all my relatives were quite sceptical about the whole thing. That’s when my father explained things to me and said, “A joint family has its own set of advantages. The weakness of one person is complemented by the strength of another family member. You get a first-hand experience of Indian culture and values in a joint family. There is a sense, a feeling of belongingness in a joint family. Our ancestors have passed down so many beautiful values to us. These are the values that anchor us during our challenges. It is our duty to pass them down to the next generation too.”

This had a deep impact on me. So I agreed to marry the boy after meeting him. I’m glad I listened to my father’s advice. My husband is a very good natured  person. After we got married I told him that I wanted to continue working. He just smiled at me and said, “If you wish to work, go ahead. I have no problems.”

I was working in a reputed firm in Belapur which was quite far from our home. So I had to change three trains to reach my workplace. But I was happy with the work I was doing. And well, like all other Mumbai folks, I got used to the commute. I would wake up early in the morning every day – cook, attend to as many household chores as I could and leave home at 8 a.m. I would return home at 7 or 7.30 p.m. and then start preparing dinner. It took me some time to learn to manage both my home and my job properly in my marital home. But I did learn to do so.

A couple of years later, I experienced motherhood, another turning point of my life. My responsibilities became manifold now. I resumed working when my child was 5 months old. And this time round too I sensed a higher protective force looking over us. I had lost my mother before I got married. My husband too had lost his mother when he was a young.

But all my sisters-in-law, bhabhis and aunts-in-law were very supportive. They would take care of my son and our home when I was away at work. I really got a lot of moral support from them during that phase. But my intuition was telling me that I was missing out on the most beautiful phase of my life.

Maybe it was the mother in me or perhaps it was just a change of heart….I don’t really know. Somehow I just felt that my priorities had changed now. So I decided to quit my job. I wanted to focus on becoming a responsible mother and take proper care of our home. You know what? The minute I took this decision, I was relieved. And happy too.

I loved taking care of my son. He kept me busy throughout the day. Yet at the end of each day, I missed the sheer mental stimulation, the drive of working with others and doing something productive. For the next year, I kept telling my husband, “I want to do something useful with my time.” My husband would look at me and say, “What do you want to do?” I would look back at him and say, “I don’t know exactly. I just know I want to do something fruitful with my time.”

One day my husband said, “Why don’t you do something that is culturally significant. You are quite creative and talented too.” We explored this idea for almost a year. But at the end of a year I knew I had found that elusive thing that I had been searching for – for so long. I decided to make handicrafts.

My husband and I did a lot of research. I realized that if I created diyas, rangolis, Shubh-Labh rangolis and kumkum dabbis, I would add value to Indian culture too. I was happy with this idea. So I watched videos on You Tube to get some inputs and then designed unique items using my own creativity and imagination.

My son likes to play during the afternoons. So I let him do that. I start working on my handicrafts post dinner. But you see, I like doing whatever I am doing. So I don’t feel tired. I look forward to creating something new and nice. So it never seems like a burden to me. And you know what? My husband helps me finalize my design too. He sits with me till late in the night, helps me choose the right colour combination and cleans the pearls too. So all I have to do is to stick them perfectly in the right place.  

Yes, we need to use a glue of a different kind for these handicrafts. The glue must be applied in the correct place and just enough of it has to be used else it gets smudged and ruins the beauty of the piece. We have to select the right size and colour of the beads. The colour combination makes a big difference to the design. It is intricate work and needs a lot of patience.

But time flies when I work on my handicrafts. Often I look up from my work and see that it is still only midnight. So I start working on another small diya or rangoli.  That is the charm of working on things you love. That is what passion is all about, isn’t it?

Of course, my son got to know about it too. He did a thorough job of mixing up beads of all sizes and colours one fine day when I was busy in the kitchen. Children have the knack of locating things you don’t want them to touch, don’t they? What else could we do? We sat up for several nights after that and segregated the pearls that he had mixed up!

My son has grown up a bit now. There are times when I am not able to work on art for weeks together. But I am okay with that. Today he was asking me why I was not working on my diyas. I just smiled at him and said, “Mumma will work on it whenever she is free..”

That is the best part of working on things you love. You love what you do. So you create time for it. Last year, just before Diwali, we showed my creations to all our family members. All our relatives loved and appreciated my artwork. I sold everything that I had created that year. Now I keep the preferences of my clients in mind and then customize my orders accordingly. I have sold several handicrafts to people living in America too.

Yes, my art work does sell pretty well even today. We use diyas and rangolis for all festive occasions. No? Most people buy a new set of “Shubh Labh” rangolis every year. So there is always a demand for such things. I do get a steady stream of orders now. Naturally, the more orders I get the more enthusiastic and passionate I become.

I- Foram, am no longer the young girl I once was. I – Foram am a woman, a wife and a mother now. And I am happy that I have I realized two dreams that are closest to my heart. One: I am adding value, a dash of colour and vibrancy to our rich Indian culture. And two: I am doing something fruitful in my life. God has showered his grace upon me. I know he will give me the strength and the energy to sustain my passion for the rest of my life and be a great wife and mother too.