People feel that I have a lot of nakhra. Let them think whatever they want about me. Why should we go around justifying ourselves or our side of the story to everyone? Yes, if a girl remains single these days, people say all kinds of things about her. It hurts. Of course, it hurts. But I can’t do anything to change that. So I just leave it at that.
Aw, come on. I want to get married too. That was my dream ever since I was a six-year-old girl. But I must meet a man who is mature enough to understand me and my responsibilities. I am the only daughter of my parents. And I have to take care of them too. It’s all very well to ask a girl about what her expectations are when a guy meets a girl to consider getting married to her. And honestly, I wonder how I should answer a question like that. I may have a billion expectations in life. But will they matter to the boy or the family after I get married?
I don’t know. Somehow all the boys that I chatted with seemed way too boyish and immature to me. I wish I can find a man who shares the same vibrations – the same perspectives about life and does his bit to understand me first. It was during this phase that one of my masis asked me to chant the Rukmini mantra. Well, I am a meditator. And I do tune into the universal force regularly and ask that divine entity up there to help me find the right man.
So, I did a quick google search and was zapped. I mean why was I never told this amazing story about Rukmini. She is such a strong woman. And thousands of years ago, she had the courage to refuse getting married to Sishupal and send a letter to the man she adored and loved – Krishna. If during that time, Rukmini could find a man she shared the same vibes with, it should be possible in these modern times too, isn’t it?
I will find the right man. It’s just that things will fall in place at the right time for all of us. I do meet and chat with the guys that my parents’ shortlist for me. I am open to all that. But I have not got the right vibes from any of them so far. Let me tell you something that happened recently.
I met this guy. He was referred to us from a trusted family which was a major plus point. He was nice and cordial and everything seemed so perfect. We chatted for about 3 months with each other and I too initiated conversations with him. But I could see that he was concealing his anger. Somehow my gut – my intuition was warning me. I could read his body language and could sense his vibes. All seemed well. Really. And all of us were sure, especially my dad who said I had to finalize this guy and that was it.
One evening, we decided to spend some time together. So we dined outside and that is when I confronted him. I plainly told him that I could see that he was concealing something from all of us and asked him if he would share it with me. He was quite taken aback when I told him that. He asked me how I knew about it. I just told him that I could sense it. Frankly, I can gauge a person’s thoughts, emotions and intentions in about 10 minutes. Yes, maybe it is because I am in the field of marketing and meet lots and lots of people every day. I can astutely gauge which proposals will turn into hardcore projects and which ones are not worth wasting my time over.
Coming back to the guy, well, I was happy about one thing – really. He was honest. And he said he had been through a heartbreak. He did not meet the girl he had been in a relationship with anymore. But he was still mentally attached to her. His parents were pressurizing him to get married to another girl now.
Frankly, I was quite candid with him. I said, “Please discuss the matter with your parents first. You need to sort this out amongst yourselves first. Not dump it on another totally innocent girl like me. Speak to them. Discuss it with them or with the girl and figure out what you want in your life for yourself first.”He just nodded his head and we parted ways.
But later on, my parents and I came to know that he had lied to his parents about me saying that I never initiated any conversations with him. I showed my parents my phone to prove that he was wrong. Obviously, my parents were very disappointed when the whole thing was called off. It was on the verge of getting finalized.
I mean, it is ridiculous isn’t it? I come from a very clean space – and am interested in sharing the rest of my life with you. But you already have someone lingering in the background of your life and you expect me to adjust to that after marriage? What if he got back with the girl after marriage or had an affair with her? I’m not saying he would have done that. But this is a possibility that I have to consider very seriously too, isn’t it? My life is at stake here.
I asked my parents whether they wanted me to return to them with a broken marriage. That sobered them up. It wasn’t easy to discuss all this with my parents either. They too have their hopes and expect things to happen at the right time in my life too. And this is just one experience I am sharing with you – the latest one. Every meet-up had a different set of issues.
Of course, I doubt myself too. Very often. Sometimes I seriously wonder if all those people are right and if I really have a lot of nakhra. And no, I am not looking for someone like Krishna either. I know that when I do meet the right man both of us will have to make our fair share of compromises to make our marriage work. But there has to be some basic compatibility too, isn’t it?
Yes, I do know that my granduncle is very concerned about my marriage. I can understand that. He was very close to my grandma after all. But you know what I tell him whenever he asks me about my marriage? I tell him, “I’ll get married when God decides dada. Don’t worry so much. He knows what he is doing and he will guide us all correctly.”
And I truly believe that too. I know things will fall in place at the right time and with the right person in my life too. And I have faith in Him and faith in myself too. I am very clear about what I am looking for in a marriage. And Time will change things in the right way in my life too.