I was elected the Lady Representative of my co-educational college in my final year. And that day will remain etched in my memory forever. I was young, vivacious, social and confident. And I enjoyed every day of my college thoroughly and passed out with decent marks.
I lost my father when I was in 10th standard. So my mother got me married as soon as I passed out of college. I moved from Aurangabad to Varanasi after getting married. And that is when the reality sunk in. 28 years back, Varanasi, was a city which was quite conservative. Women could not move around freely after the sunset. Maybe it was unsafe. Perhaps it was just the norm. I never got to know about that. All I knew was that if I wanted to go down the lane to meet someone or buy something after 7 p.m., I had to look for a male person to escort me first.
Women were not allowed to go out of the house and work. I was reprimanded when I spoke openly to other male relatives. I would speak confidently and question several norms that were practised in our home. Sadly, I never got any concrete answers to my questions. I was just asked to follow what the senior women did.
But I knew I had a lot of potential to do something good with my life. I wanted to do something fruitful with my time. But I was told that I could not go out and work. The most I could do was to engage in the social activities that were conducted regularly in our community.
I had two children by now. Yet, I deeply felt something was missing in my life. I would often speak to my husband about it. He understood me. And he would comfort me by saying, “Take care of all our family members now. They need your attention during this phase. You can surely do all that you want later on in your life.”
I did not shelve my goals and forget about them. And I decided to do the best with what I had in hand. I started helping people during social gatherings. It was a part of my nature now. So I would create lovely hairstyles and make up their faces before they hosted some party for their family members. I conducted free rangoli classes for all the children. It was better than not doing anything at all.
It was at this time that I experienced something different. We have an ancient famous temple called Gopal Mandir in Varanasi. The children of our community naturally did not know much about our culture. They were busy with their schools, homework, exams and playing to their heart’s content. The people who took care of the temple wanted me to conduct free classes on our culture. Initially, I refused because I too was not very aware of the details of our culture. But these people must have sensed something about my character. They insisted that I was the best person to conduct these classes.
The seniors in my family agreed to it and said I could go ahead and conduct the classes in the temple. Yes, now I had no time throughout the day. I would always have something or the other lined up every day. And I derived a little joy from doing these things for other people. I loved interacting with youngsters – the unmarried girls especially. They looked upon me as their role model and we got along really well.
It took time. But things slowly changed in Varanasi too. I started taking tuitions in my spare time. Women can now go out freely at any time of the day and night. And the daughters-in-law of even the most conservative families wear a pair of jeans freely now. Of course, there is some kind of friction in all relationships.
All our five fingers are not the same, are they? Everyone is unique. Just because I do not get along with someone does not make them bad. Neither do I become good. He/She is right in her way. And I am right in my way too. It is as simple as that. I have to be true to myself. And they need to be true to themselves. That’s all there is to it.
There were times when I would go running into my room and cry my soul out in a corner of my room. But would rush into the bathroom and wash all my tears, change the expression on my face to a smiling one and greet my visitors. That’s how tough life can often be for all of us.
It was at this time that I was offered the post of an executive for Oriflame. I declined the offer initially because I was busy with my tuitions at that time. But the main reason was that I knew I could not sell their products consistently over a long period of time. I mean, who would buy such products regularly from me? And I wondered why I should give up what I had in hand for something that may not prove to be fruitful in the long run. One of my friends knew that the Oriflame people offered me this deal. She came to my house one day and said, “Ruchida Bhabhi, you are going to take up the dealership for Oriflame products from now on. I have got you a deal for 1300/- Rupees. Now you just need to get in touch with the agency and recruit yourself there.”
I could not decline an offer like that anymore. So I registered myself with Oriflame and started marketing their products after that. Within a short time, I was offered the position of a marketing executive for “Aplomb Health Care” products.
The proprietor had started this company when he was just 19 years old. I was suffering from a few health issues at that time. So I tried their products first. And I was very happy to see that all my health issues completely vanished when I used these health care products. I registered myself with Aplomb Health Care company.
The proprietor went out of the way to motivate me. I am now a Silver Director with Aplomb. But he was the person who saw the potential lying dormant within me. Often I would tell him that I would not be able to meet the targets month after month. But he would listen to me patiently and say, “Aapke Awaaz me dum hai. Aap kuch banna chahite hai. Aur aap bann sakti hai.” I would brush off his remarks casually saying that he was just doing it to get more sales for the company.
But soon realized that he was very sincere with his compliments. I would record my voice over WhatsApp and send him the clippings. Even when I listened to the audio clippings, I could hear myself stammering and hesitating. But over a period of time, I could see the difference in my speech.
Today, I can talk to a big gathering without any preparation. I am able to walk confidently on the stage after a presentation when our director calls me on stage and even speak to the audience without any preparation. Yes, I am usually able to meet all the targets because people believe in our products now. That is why my head gave me the title of a Silver Director. It is my aim to get the highest title that my company can offer to its employees.
Recently, the director of our company sent all the top-level achievers to Nepal, Bangkok and Kuala Lumpur. And I had a grand time there without spending a single penny from my pocket. It feels good when we realize our dreams. Truly.
All I want to say to my readers is this: You may not always get what you want or dreamt of immediately. But that should not deter you from your goal. You just need to work with what you have in hand right now with the hope that someday, somewhere and in some unique manner you too will realize your dreams. And the journey will make it all worth your while. I wanted to create an identity of my own in my life. And I have been successful in doing that. And I feel good about the whole thing.
Yes, I have no problems if you write my name in the story. It is my story after all. I would love to share it with my friends and family. It feels so nice when someone shows interest in the story of my life. In fact, I will be happy to share the story of my life with others. Thank you very much for listening to my story so patiently.