Why do we use “Shoot, Hit, Bang on and Chill and Freeze?” Why are we in such a “tearing” hurry? Why has “s**t” become such a “hot” word? Why do we never have the time for a decent conversation? What are we chasing with such frenzy all the bloody time?
The Brahmanda Purana has an interesting story which helps us explore this concept. One day, Shiva and Brahma start arguing. Shiva’s anger causes turbulence in the cosmic energy. There is discord in his relationship with Parvati too. So he decides to deposit his anger in Anasuya, the wife of Rishi Atri. The child born out of this anger is called Dur-vasa, “a person who is difficult to live with”.
The devas lose their powers due to Durvasa’s wrath. This leads to the Samudra Manthan. Shakuntala loses Dushyanta after Durvasa curses her. Lakshman is forced to give up his life because Durvasa threatens to curse the whole of Ayodhya in his fury. Durvasa’s irascible tendencies disrupt and ruin the lives of several people for no fault of theirs.
Brahma has endless desires. He expresses his desires freely and is unable to control them. Shiva, on the other hand, renounces the world. He prefers silence. Anger is born out of this conflict between endless desires and total renunciation, expression and silence. Perhaps it is this conflict that manifests as anger in our vocabulary.
Unlike Brahma, we live in the real world. We can never fulfil all our whims, fancies and desires. We do have to renounce/give up and let go of some of our desires at some time or the other. When we accept this we learn to compromise. The Vishnu within us helps us strike this balance and this leads to contentment. So there is no anger within us.
This reality sinks in when we have honest conversations and open discussions with everyone. There is a balance between expression and silence. We speak but we listen too. We are willing to learn from one another’s experiences and insights. There is personal interaction and discussion. Our inner and outer worlds expand when we have these amiable conversations. We learn to look at things from different perspectives. We appreciate the fact that different people think and feel differently. We make room for others. We understand. We slowly learn the value of contentment and the art of letting go, if we are willing to do so.
But often the Brahma within us is restless. When we don’t get what we want in the real world, instead of compromising or letting go, we will look for it in the virtual world. We shut out reality. We lose out on learning so many real-life lessons due to this. The virtual world guarantees instant gratification. It makes us feel good because there is no rejection. There is enough space for everyone here. Everyone is accepted. But there are no personal connections here. There is no scope for real discussions here because we don’t know one another well enough.
So we bottle up all our real expressions and real thoughts. We project an image of ourselves which may not be in alignment with our true selves. We want to be accepted at any cost. But the inner conflict between renunciation and indulgence, between expression and silence, between Brahma and Shiva, continues to wage a war within us. The frustration builds up over time. Anger is born. It needs to be deposited somewhere. Durvasa needs a vent. So he manifests himself through the language that we use in our daily lives.
Instead of saying, “Thank you for your sincere efforts. We appreciate it. Your remuneration has been credited to your account. Do let us know if we can assist you in any way.”
We say:
“Your payments should hit your bank accounts by tomorrow. Shoot me an e-mail if you have any queries!”
Instead of saying,
“I would love to put my technical expertise to good use by working on this project with you!”
We say:
“Hit me up if you want to work with a technical expert like me”.
Instead of having fun and playing with our children we will give them our phones to keep them engaged and allow them to play games like “Angry Birds” and “Candy Crush”.
We massacre the beauty of a language by saying “U r 2 much!” We chat and send emojis instead of making voice calls.
We are human beings. We have been blessed with the ability to think and feel. And only when we experience the entire gamut of thoughts and emotions will we evolve into better human beings. The negative is as important as the positive. Desire is as important as Sacrifice. Expression is as important as Silence. Both are a part of the real world.
The virtual world does have its fair share of advantages too. There is no denying that. But we live in the real world. The virtual world is at best an extension of the real world. It can never take the place of the real world. Yet we are hooked to the virtual world 24×7. We ignore the people who are with us to chat with others who are far away from us. We are offline in the real world but always online in the real world. Emojis and acronyms rule the roost there. There is no room for real thoughts, real emotions, real expressions and honest down to earth conversations. This conflict between our inner and outer world is scary. The silence within is hollow and echoes deafeningly.
Frustration builds up. Anger is born. Like Durvasa, we get into the habit of using terse volatile language and end up creating discord in all our other relationships. Our children and loved ones end up bearing the brunt of our fury. Often this kind of vocabulary creates a rift in the bonds that were precious to us earlier. Volatile words hurt. And no one wants to get hurt. So they hesitate to engage in a discussion with us. They will keep their ideas/suggestions/ perspectives to themselves and keep their distance with us. We end up alienating all the people around us! And then we wonder why we feel so lonely and depressed all the time! It’s time – high time – we accept the realities of the virtual world and make these changes in our lives before it is too late…..