Setbacks. Some of us sail through them. With ease. Others crack. They need support. Some become bitter and hard. But a handful of people emerge out of it all. With their dignity intact. And a smile on their faces. And they light up other lives with their radiance. Meet one of these rare gems…..
I was born and brought up in a small town. My father offered ‘seva’ (service) in the temple in our town. For the first few years of my childhood we lived like a happy family. I have two brothers. We had an elder sister too. But unfortunately she passed away soon after getting married.
I could study only up to the 7th standard. My mother fell sick while I was still studying. She was bedridden for five years. So my sister and I stopped going to school to take care of the house and our mother. I loved going to school and I did miss my friends. But I loved my mother a lot too. It was only when we stopped studying that we realized how much our mother had done for us all through our childhood days. There was always so much work to be done around the house!
Even today, when I think about my childhood days, I appreciate the indomitable spirit of my mother. She would never complain or crib about her pain. She maintained her dignity all through her sickness. She would never call out to us if she felt thirsty or felt like eating something or even if she wanted to go to the washroom. She would wait till we came to her bedside and then ask us for whatever she wanted.
She would always greet us with a smile, hold our hands lovingly, tell us to sit beside her and rest for a while. She would say, “The kitchen can wait for a while. Make something simple for dinner. Both of you must be tired!” We loved chatting with her. We came to know her as a person only after she fell sick. We had always assumed that she was ‘just’ our mother. Her eyes would light up with delight whenever she talked about her childhood days. We were stunned to realize that her mother, our ‘nani’ had always called her a “sweet little naughty girl” because she loved teasing her brothers!
Every evening, after we lit a lamp near the Tulsi plant in our court yard, she would make us sit next to her. My sister, my ma and I would then recite shlokas from the Gita for the next 30 minutes. She would teach us new chants and mantras every week. We did not understand the importance of all this at that time. All we knew is that we ‘felt good’ after chanting these shlokas and that our mother felt better when we spent time together like this.
My mother passed away within a couple of months of my elder sister’s marriage. We were heartbroken. The loss is indescribable. We were happy that we had spent as much time with her as we could. Bu our lives took a turn for a worse after she passed away.
My elder sister came home to stay with us when she was 8 months pregnant. We missed our Ma the most at this time. I was clueless about pregnancy and did not know how to take care of my sister after she delivered a boy baby. I would listen to the advice given by our relatives and do whatever was necessary for my sister. Unfortunately, my sister lost her child within a fortnight of her delivery. We were all very upset about it.
My father felt very sad when my sister lost her baby. But he never expressed his feelings or thoughts to any of us openly. He helped me around the house and I often felt that he missed my mother a lot. He derived a lot of solace from us. He wanted my brothers to study well and asked them to help me out with the household chores after they returned home from school.
One day, as was his usual habit, he told my sister that he was going out for a walk. She nodded her head quietly. She was running a slight fever that day. So I covered her with a quilt, gave her the right medicines and went back to the kitchen to cook. When my father returned from his walk, he went to my sister’s bedside to check her temperature.
We were shocked to see that my sister was no more. She had passed away quietly …..like my mother. My father was shocked to the core. He bottled up his sorrow and put on a stoic face in front of us. But I knew he was grieving for my sister too now. Sadly, he too passed away shortly after my sister’s demise. We were just the three of us now. Helpless. Clueless about life and no one to look up to…..
God comes to us in the strangest of ways. My uncle lived close to our house. He was a lawyer and earned well. So he took care of us now. My elder brother had passed his 12th standard that year. He wanted to go to college. So he worked in a shop before and after college hours to pay for his college fees. He was hardly ever at home and whenever he was – he would be busy studying for his exams. Often, I would see him studying all through the night.
Yet, he never complained. He always had a smile of affection on his face for my brother and me. My younger brother too had to work while he was in college. My uncle and all our relatives took care of all our basic needs. Often they would go out of the way to help us in any way they could. Had it not been for their support, I would never have got married to such a genteel human being – and my brothers would never have got a chance to get a degree. We will always remain indebted to them.
I had turned 15 during this phase. So my relatives got me married the next year. I was a woman and a wife at 16! I think my brothers and I never got a chance to be children or enjoy our childhood. We never had fun or played with anyone whenever we were free. We did not have any friends to chat with. We were just busy taking care of one another and our house. Yes, my brothers and I grew up overnight when we lost three family members within a year.
My brothers too got married later on. We have great grandchildren of our own now. But my parents will always be a part of my life. They continue to live through the values and beliefs that they passed on to us. I do miss them. Even today. But I feel they are always with me too.