If you ask me a general question like that I won’t know how to answer you. And I have a weak memory. So I can’t remember any other experience that I shared with him unless you are specific about it. My grandpa and I always argue with each other. But he listens to me too. That is how it has always been with us. Okay, I will tell you about the fall he had recently.
Actually, grandpa drags his walking stick behind him instead of holding on to it for support. He is more than 85 years old. So he carries his stick with him whenever he walks around our home. But grandma often forgets to carry her walking stick itself. I guess that is a problem when you grow old. You know -grandpa often shouts at us because he forgets the information that we give him and thinks we never told him about it.
Now, grandpa’s dhoti often slips down a bit and gets entangled in his feet. That day, bhaiya had even asked him to tie it up properly when he was going to the temple. He did that. But maybe it was destined to happen. He had his stick with him as usual. And there are only three small steps in that place. But he fell on his back while climbing them. Even he doesn’t know how he fell. Luckily bhaiya and foi were around at that time. So we got to know about it immediately.
We rushed him to the hospital immediately. He was in pain and quite tense that day. I could sense that. And it was late in the evening by the time we got the complete picture. He had fractured his hip so it was impossible to put a cast there. So he was advised complete bed rest till it healed completely. And no one could predict how long it would take to heal. At his age, it was bound to take time.
For the first few days, he was relieved that he was not hospitalized and could recover at home. The first thing he did on reaching home on the stretcher was thank Natvarlalji profusely.
It took him about a week to settle down in his new routine. Luckily we found a good male nurse within a day. So things got pretty streamlined soon. Grandpa had been hospitalized and was advised bed rest earlier too when he was undergoing treatment for piles. So we all could predict his frustration now.
We have never seen grandpa sitting idle. But despite his frustration, I learnt so many small things from him. He was very short-tempered because his routine personal and work life was disturbed because of his fracture. And he hated that feeling. Most of all, he hated the fact that he was bedridden and could not attend to the seva in our temple.
He missed his Natvarlalji. I could see that he yearned for Natvarlalji the most during this time. I have always admired and respected his dedication but now I realized that Natvarlalji is an important part of his very being – his very life.
We all did our best to talk casually about other things and distract him from his present condition. It was strange actually. But my sister could sense something was amiss that day. She called my Ma repeatedly that day and wanted to talk to grandpa on that very day. My Ma kept giving her some excuse or the other because she did not want her to become anxious. But by late evening she became insistent. That is when my Ma had to tell her about it.
Every single family member called him up at that time. I realized the value of being a part of a joint family even more at that time. We get so much moral support when we know our family is always with us. No?
I started spending more time with him now. I would chat with him whenever I fed him his lunch or dinner every day. That is when he told me this one line – advice/statement – “You know something? I believe that a man should never sit at home.” He liked going to the office regularly. I knew he was telling me this out of frustration because he was not able to do anything, literally anything at all. He hated the fact that he had become so dependent on others. And found it difficult to just lie down on the bed all the time.
But I have to admit this. That despite being bedridden, he never changed his lifestyle. He was very punctual with all that he did even though he had to lie down in that one place all day long. Yes. He is disciplined. We all know that. But I admired him because he followed his routine correctly even when he was bedridden.
He asked for his books the day he had a fall itself. He always reads till he falls asleep. Grandma and all of us have been telling him this for years. His books fall off from his hands while he is reading them. He just dozes off on the chair itself. But he picks it up again and starts reading it. He will sleep only at 10.30 or 11. Never before that. Even if he is very tired. And that is the way he has always been. We can’t change him at this age, can we?
So we just gently shake him awake and tell him that his book has fallen down again. And we know he will pick it up again and start reading. So we only smile now. But now that he was bedridden, I understood what he was saying very clearly. He showed me, by example that books can actually be a man’s best friend.
He was getting very frustrated when he was bedridden for over two months. We could all understand what he was experiencing. But there was nothing anyone could do about it. He would lose his temper over the smallest of things. Often my ma and grandma had to force him to eat a bit more and drink a little more water. He would say that he was not doing any work. So he did not feel hungry or thirsty.
I could see him struggling during this entire phase. But I have to say this one thing about him. He did his very best to be nice to everyone. I mean, just imagine, all four of us were hounding him to do things – do this, do that, don’t sit like this, drink water, eat a little more…that can get pretty irritating right?
Yeah… Grandpa bided his time till he could. He listened to us till he could. We were all very very anxious about him moving around the room. The physiotherapist was there with him initially. We wanted him to take things very slow and easy lest he damaged his hip permanently.
But I suppose we know our bodies best. He took his time. But is back on his feet and walks around independently with the help of a walker now. And that is the best lesson he has taught us all….that ultimately we are the best judges of our lives. Our anxiety for him paled into insignificance compared to his will power and intuitive discretionary powers. I am proud indeed to be a grandson of my grandpa….and continue to learn from him…