Why should the last line of every story be, “and they lived happily ever after?” Do we really live happily ever after in real life? Why do we always feed our children on a diet of stories with happy endings? Why should all stories have an ending? Why don’t we allow our children to complete a story, any story with their imagination? Why……we don’t even nurture the imagination of our children! This story about Dhruva is just an example that I have used to make my point.
King Uttanapada had two wives – Sunidhi and Suruchi. Dhruva was Sunidhi’s son and Uttama was Suruchi’s son. Sunidhi was the senior wife so it was quite obvious that Dhruva would inherit Uttanapada’s kingdom. Uttanapada favoured Suruchi more than Sunidhi. Suruchi wanted her son Uttama to inherit the kingdom. So she did not allow Dhruva or Sunidhi to meet Uttamapada.
One day, Dhruva comes rushing to his father and sees Uttama sitting on his father’s lap. He too wishes to sit on his father’s other lap. But Suruchi stops him from doing so and asks him to leave immediately. Dhruva asks Suruchi when he will get a chance to sit on his father’s lap. Suruchi looks at him with disdain and asks him to ask God about it.
Dhruva immediately leaves for the forest and starts meditating. He performs severe austerities. Vishnu is pleased by Dhruva’s penance and grants him a boon. But Dhruva has outgrown all his desires after his austerities. So he says all he wants now is to sing the glory of Vishnu.
Vishnu looks at him indulgently and says he will have to live through his life on earth. Vishnu asks Dhruva to rule over the kingdom of Uttanapada and assures him of a permanent place in the cosmos after he dies. Dhruva returns home, rules over his kingdom fairly for several years, and gains a permanent place in the cosmos. He is known as Dhruva tara or the Pole star, the brightest star. It signifies stillness.
The story is inspiring indeed. We should never tolerate unfairness. We should do things that we believe in. Dhruva gets what is rightfully due to him and also a permanent place in the cosmos because of his penance and his devotion to Vishnu.
But we can learn so many other things from this story too. Why do we focus only on the positive aspect of every story that we listen to or read? It is really good to nurture positivity and cultivate a positive attitude in life. But that does not mean we ignore reality!
Why did Uttamapada not divide his kingdom equally between his two sons? That way both his sons would have got a fair share of the kingdom. Perhaps at that time, such thoughts were not entertained. Maybe during that period, only the firstborn son inherited the entire kingdom. Maybe those were the norms and the rules of the society at that time.
Will such values hold true now? Hasn’t society evolved and progressed over the years? Values too keep evolving over time. They should, shouldn’t they? We appreciate the freedom that we get in our lives now when we reflect on the other aspects of each story like this.
Uttama never gets a chance to prove his worth. Isn’t that unfair? Is it easy to deal with this kind of unfairness? Favouritism can frustrate the best amongst us. Sibling rivalry can create Mahabharatas!
Dhruva starts meditating because he wants something that is rightfully his. Will we get all that we want all through our lives? Should we chase our dreams and desires or do things that we believe in to the exclusion of everything else?
Dhruva forgets why he started meditating when Vishnu appears before him. He had forgotten all about his goal with time. He does get what he wants but it no longer matters to him. There is such a beautiful insight embedded in this nuance of the story – that the journey matters more than the goal. That sometimes, we just need to make a beginning and the rest will follow on its own. That sometimes, we need to risk everything we have to get what we want!
Dhruva does get to rule the kingdom. But was that rule right? Who frames such rules? Why were such rules created? What kinds of things did our ancestors keep in mind when they framed these rules? What kind of challenges did our ancestors face? They were kings. There was no democracy at that time. The king acted as the judge too. But was the king as the judge always fair?
When we discuss these aspects with our children and/or others, we learn so many values that help us deal with the realities of life. Good values are invaluable. There is no doubt about it. We do need to cultivate a positive attitude in our children. But we also need to prepare them for real life.
When we discuss such aspects of every story with our children, we set them thinking. They realize that there are different perspectives to every story. But often instead of making them think about such aspects, we make the extremely grave mistake of simply narrating the entire story to them.
We will begin at the beginning, embellish it by adding interesting trivial details along the way and end it with “….and they lived happily ever after!”
We will focus only on the nobility of Rama as a king in the Ramayana and refrain from discussing the unfairness that Sita had to deal with. We will focus only on the Pandavas’ victory in the Mahabharata. We will not discuss that the Pandavas lost all their children too in the Mahabharata. We will ignore the unpleasant reality of the Mahabharata – that in a war of any kind – no one really wins. We will not tell our children that for every choice that they make – there is a consequence.
Let’s amend that. Only if we make our children think from different perspectives, will they learn to spare a thought for other people’s thoughts and emotions? We need to sensitize them to such things. Only then will they realize that there is more to a story than just a happy ending!
These are just a few simple stories that I have discussed briefly. Every story that we listen to teaches us several things. Our life too is a story. We can learn several things about ourselves from our lives and from the lives of others too. So let’s share our stories with others, listen to the stories of others and keep learning and growing into better human beings!