Accepting People The Way They Are…
We are in the midst of a lock-down. We work from home. But our security guard has to report for duty. So what do we do? We put our break to good use and enjoy ourselves. We don’t step out of the house. Not even once.
But make that poor man trudge up and down the stairs (we have no lift) umpteen times in a day whenever we want something or feel like eating something. Dudhi, doodh, dahi, vada pav, idlis from the idli wala, pizza, fruits….anything that is available at any time of the day.
Do we live to eat? Shouldn’t we, at least now, eat to live? Just because we have a lot of money at our disposal, we do whatever we want. No? Have some mercy on people who are risking their lives for us. He too is a human being, just like you and me. Just because he is poor and has to report for work, doesn’t mean his life is less worthy or cheaper than ours.
I am sorry to say that most people just don’t get this even now. So what’s the point of cribbing about such things! I have to learn to accept them the way they are. Isn’t it? You tell me.
Balancing My Outer And Inner Worlds
You know what my old friend did last week? She sent me a pumpkin over WhatsApp, asked me to transform it into Cinderella’s carriage, put on my glass slippers and come to meet her. On Mother’s day, she sent me two videos and said, “You are my Dadi and Nani too. So I am sending you two Mother’s day messages.”
And the other day she was asking me “Do you know why monkeys eat bananas?” And she went offline when I said, “Because bananas can’t eat monkeys!” That’s the kind of fun we can indulge in during a lock-down. We then giggle, laugh and have nonsensical chats for a long time. Yes, both of us know how precious this shared time is.
Seriously speaking, I feel I am “realizing” several things. Not really “learning” much. I realize how blessed I am. I can’t report for work. So I have the time to understand myself and my family members better. I am able to spend some quality time with them.
And I appreciate them and feel closer to them in many ways now. It’s beautiful to just feel all this now. I understand how important it is to be with my loved ones. Also, I feel I am able to accept people and situations with more compassion now.
I am also trying to understand all that is happening right now scientifically. And I wonder what I can do about the current situation. I am growing in love. I am growing in love. Yes, I want you to write that twice.
Basically, I am introspecting a lot and correcting all the mistakes that I made in the past. I can clearly relate to my goal and will take the necessary steps to reach it after we get through this phase. I will try and spend more time by myself even after the lock-down ends.
Sharing Chores
I have enrolled for an online course which is related to the Master’s degree that I am going to pursue shortly. I’m also studying subjects which are related to my industry. Yes, I understand that. Not all people understand technical jargon like this so it’s perfectly fine to give an outline about how I am spending my time during the lock-down.
Spending time with the family is obviously on top of the entire list. We, my parents, wife and I share the chores. We spend quite a bit of our time cooking and cleaning things around the kitchen and house. But we also watch Ramayana and Mahabharata and play board games together.
Doing Business Differently
Workwise: I always believed and thought physical presence is required to make things happen. But now I guess with the world changing so fast and necessity being the major driver, people are willing to learn and adapt and close deals online itself which is a significant change in the way of doing business.
I also believed that managing teams virtually was tough and that productivity would go down. Though it has not gone significantly up it is getting there. It took time, initially, the lockdown felt like summer holidays. But after a couple of calls people realized that we were getting back to where we were.
I always thought a formal office set up was required to work. But I guess the place doesn’t matter. It’s all about being comfortable and getting things moving. Overall I see a significant shift in the way people are learning to work and that’s going to be the new normal going ahead.
Mentally, I guess when you are so used to seeing people around; and you suddenly, now during the lock-down, don’t see people at all….. well, that takes time to settle in. And it’s interesting really to see how after one point you crave eating outside Chinese food. It’s like overall wanting to see people, meet them, talk to them. I’m just not a person who can sit at home so I am learning to manage that but finding it very hard and it brings in all sorts of stupid thoughts which end up going nowhere.
Missing People
My inputs might be a little different for two reasons. One – I am in the US right now. And two – I am in a PhD program and my lifestyle is currently very different from most other people.
I think this lock-down has, for the first time in a very long time, paused life that has been moving faster and faster each day. We are so busy doing different things in our own different worlds that it’s been so hard to just pause and appreciate life, the good things, the necessary things and the role of people in our lives
We usually take meeting other people for granted. Most times we even complain about having to go out and meet other people. But this lock-down has made people appreciate and value these interactions and relationships. In the US, I have been used to connecting with my family and friends virtually for 3 years now. So it’s not very different now.
But I see a change happening at home in Chennai where all the cousins are meeting up, playing games, talking, interacting and just connecting. I’ve seen how all of these people have grown up and become busy in their own lives but this lock-down forced them to get together and what my advisor likes to say, “just talk”.
Another thing that I appreciate is the time – when you are not busy shuffling and hustling to and fro work, it frees up a lot of time that you can spend doing other things. For me, it has been time to exercise and take care of my health – something that I had been unable to do consistently – given the long hours I have to put in for my work. I’m seeing how other people are learning new skills and finding their creativity in their activities – something you don’t have time and mental space for when you are so busy in your life.