I am who I am. Complete on my own – Poorna Purushotham. I am Time. I am Space. And I am Eternity. I am Shunya. But I am Ananta too. I exist in a realm that is beyond your imagination. And I exist in a realm that is within you too.
In Time, I wanted to experience my Maya. So I created two alluring forms of my divinity. One I named Radha. She was fair and pretty and demanded my total attention. But she gave of herself too. Always. Without asking any questions. She embodied unconditional love. The second was Yamuna. Dark. Quiet. Serene. Absorbing the sorrows of the cosmos. Purifying souls. She brought you closer to me. She embodied Bhakti.
When I incarnated as Krishna some of you questioned my mysterious ways. Others tried to analyse my divinity rationally. A few tried to confine me. Yet others tried to define me. I loved you all. For I knew you too loved me. In your own way.
As a toddler, I had a grand time playing with the gopas and gopis. I could feel the immense love and the absolute faith that these genteel souls had for me. And I loved dressing up and felt great when the peacock feather swayed above my top knot.
I broke the pots of the gopis and stole their butter. Yet, they accepted the ball of butter that I offered them with delight. Their hearts melted with immense love for me. So much so that they forgot that it was their own butter that I was offering to them. Everything that was theirs was mine. And everything that was mine was theirs. In the language of love – words are never needed…
Then she came. My Radha. She was married to another. And I was only 7 years old. In this realm. But we belong to another realm. Such things cease to matter there. I wooed her in the middle of the night in Vrindavan. Our divine energies radiated all through Vraj.
Some gopis wanted to bask in my love. Others were content to get even a brief glimpse of Radha and Krishna together. They could see the love that Radha had for me. The minute I played the flute, she would come running to me. Rain or sunshine. Day or night. Nothing mattered to her. I yearned for my Radha. Just as I yearned for the love of all my other gopis.
I multiplied myself and we engaged in the Raas Leela each night. Krishna was Radha. Radha was Krishna. The gopis experienced Krishna and Krishna basked in the love of the gopis. We created a realm of our own there. Time. Space. Nothing mattered there.
But we had incarnated as human beings. Maya was at work. I had to leave Radha. She shed no tears for me. We parted. Forever. She was a part of me. I missed her. Always. So I never played the flute again.
But I had a mission to fulfill. Others needed me too. I went to Mathura. I created Dwarka much later. There was strife. There was turmoil. Everywhere. Maya was doing a good job. I knew you would eventually connect to me in some way or the other. Yet I could not bear to see you struggle with your challenges. So I became Dwarkadheesh. I became Vittalanatha. And I became Madanmohan too. I knew you would find solace and bliss in these forms of mine. And that made me happy.
I married 1608 other women. And I loved them all too. I multiplied myself again to spend time with each one of them. But I never forgot my Radha. But that did not stop me from enjoying my Leela. Everything was and is a part of my Leela after all. I had to convey this message to all of you too. I had to lead by example. Struggles and strife are part of our lives. That should not deter you from living your life to the fullest.
Rejoice in my plenitude. See the bounty that Prakriti offers you. She asks for nothing in return. Your challenges will seem insignificant to you when you seek refuge in my glory. I am with you. In you. Around you. Taking care of you.
Dip into the Yamuna. She is Bhakti. She flowed through me. For you. For me. She absorbs all your sins and sorrows, purifies you and brings you closer to me. So sometimes I take on a feminine form and dress up in black to connect to my Yamuna. She smiles serenely nonchalantly as she flows through Vraj, the realm that is akin to my Goloka. My presence or absence in her life does not change her love for me. For Yamuna is Radha and Radha is Yamuna.
Slowly. Gently. I help you understand and see through the veil of Maya. Slowly. Very slowly. I give you the strength to overcome your challenges. As you connect to me at a deeper level, you, like me will learn to enjoy all the colours of life.
You will lower the barriers that you had in your mind and heart. Nothing will matter to you now. You know there is a realm beyond this one. But you are no longer scared or in awe of it. You have faith in me. So now you focus only on strengthening your faith in me. You learn to let go of your fears and surrender to me.
Your awareness about me nurtures your faith. As Narasimha, Parashurama, Rama, Vamana and Krishna you will see me shattering your ego. I may have lived in that yuga. But you know that I exist in these forms in your life even today. You realize the role of Karma now. As a human being, I too had to live through my Karma. My life is an open book for you to see and learn from. You know I will come to your aid like Matsya, Kurma, Varaha and Kalki – but only at the right time. So you practise the Sharanagati more often now. You have utmost faith in Balarama, an avatar of Sesha who embodies Time.
And you are more conscious of the divinity that lives within you. But you choose to remain unaffected more often. You choose to allow pain and pleasure to flow over you more easily. Sometimes you look for meaning when you do my darshan. Sometimes you try to decipher the messages that I keep sending to you when you visit me in my Haveli. But often you feel content when you connect to me in your own way too.
For you and I know that all ways eventually lead to the Atma. I am your Atma. But I am Param Atma too. I am. Here. There. And everywhere. I am Krishna. I will put you through Maya and make you pay for your Karma. That is my Leela. You have to live through it all. Just like me. Only then will you come closer to me.
But I will also stand tall and firm beside you and hold your hand firmly in mine through it all. I will help you outgrow your weaknesses, shed your ego and shatter your illusions. Seek refuge in my Sudarshana Swaroop when your fears continue to overwhelm you. Never ever forget one thing. Everything is Maya and Krishna’s Leela. All else may fail. But I will never fail you….for I am Krishna. I am Krishna. I am Krishna….
Photo given by: Aditi. Painting preserved by: Ashwinji.
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