I Didn’t Cry Or Sulk When I Lost. I Felt Sad But I Was Okay With It!

Winning losing and understanding ourselves!

Ups and downs are a part of all our lives. We don’t get what we want in life all the time. This young girl says, “I just focus on doing my very best at all times and accept the outcome with equanimity. And I learnt this life lesson while playing badminton!”

I have an elder brother and four sisters. I am the youngest child in my family but I wasn’t pampered. Our parents just let us do whatever we wanted to. All of us had a passion for music. All my siblings learnt to play some musical instrument or the other. I was the only one who did not do so. I don’t regret it because I did other things that I loved. Maybe I was just different from them in this way. I don’t know. But I was and am happy with the choices I made at that time.

I had three other friends in college. We were not studious but we attended all our lectures from 9 a.m. to 2 p.m. regularly. I would then play kho-kho, kabaddi or badminton till 5 p.m. every day. Yes. Every. Single. Day. I loved that part of the day. I loved the Javelin throw also.

Hmmm. I think I loved whatever I excelled in. Maybe it is the other way round. I excelled in things that I loved. Either way didn’t matter much to me. I felt very happy when I played the games that I loved. All my siblings too were very good at sports.

I would return home exhausted after playing to my heart’s content. We had a cook. We would call him “Maharaj”(king). Maharaj would serve us piping hot parathas straight from the tava (griddle). I would apply “makkhan mishri”(white butter and sugar candy) over it and eat it! Yum. I loved it but would eat only a couple of parathas. That’s all.

One day, I lost my watch. I don’t remember if I mentioned it to my father. But I do know that he bought a new watch for me the very next day without even scolding me! That touched me. A lot. I learnt to be more careful with my things after that.

My friends and I were scared of our lecturers and did whatever they told us while we were in college. I liked our Philosophy lecturer, Mr Solomon. He respected all the students and understood their problems. I would do my best to follow all his instructions properly whenever I appeared for all the papers. He was a very genial human being.

But I did not excel in academics. I just about managed to clear all my papers. I did not have any backlog papers. Sports were my forte. Four boys and four girls would reach the semi-final rounds for badminton each year in our college. The sports department would design a special T-Shirt for the winner.

I won the college championship in badminton twice.  I felt so proud when they gifted me the specially designed T-Shirt. I touched it lovingly for days together after that. My parents and siblings too were as excited about it as I was.

But such things were normal in our family. Someone or the other was always winning or losing some match or musical competition. So it never affected our personality in any way. We were not proud or arrogant about our achievements. We just felt happy when we won and sad when we lost and then moved on. 

I was overjoyed when my college authorities asked me to go to Gwalior to participate in the district level championship. I practised a lot for this match. I wanted to win it. Very badly. Unfortunately, I lost. I did not feel very good about it. It was not very easy to take failure in my stride after winning at the school level. But I was fine with it after a few days.

I realized that it was just a game. And winning and losing was a part of it. I also understood that I could not win all the games that I played in. I was the undisputed champion of badminton in my school for two successive years. But there were several others out there in the world who were better at badminton than I was.

I was then asked to participate in the district level Running Race held at Gwalior. Unfortunately, I lost miserably there too. I knew very well that I would never win in all the games that I played. Yet, I felt bad when I lost in the race that day.

I guess all of us want to win at all times! Maybe it is just a natural human tendency to yearn for such things. No, I didn’t cry or sulk or mope around. I just felt sad. It was simple. I had lost. I had to accept it. It took me a couple of days to accept it. But after that, I was fine with it.

I think that is what I learnt at a very early age. We can’t win in all the games that we participate in! For someone to win, someone has to lose! Maybe I learnt to take setbacks in my stride quickly because I participated in so many competitions when I was young.

My friends too won and lost in several events. It was the same with all my siblings too. I think I grew up in an environment where winning or losing was not that big a deal. We loved playing the game. We did our best at all times. We felt happy when we did our best. I guess that is what mattered the most to all of us. I am happy that I got all these opportunities when I was young.

Looking back, I think I learnt that ups and downs will keep coming and going through all our lives while playing so many games. I think I have learnt to enjoy the journey of my life and find happiness along the way!  I am satisfied with what I have. I have no complaints or regrets.