It was my first day at my university. My university. The words felt strange to even think about. I was going to spend the next few years of my life here. And it felt good. Very good. I had worked hard for the past 15 years to get into a good college. I had worked even harder to get admission into premier colleges like these. Finally, my dream was turning into reality.
I had been looking forward to leading an independent life for a long time now. And I knew this would be one of the most memorable days of my life. My parents too could sense my excitement when we had visited the campus to complete the admission formalities a few weeks back.
Yet, now that I was finally going to get a chance to live through my dream, I had to admit to myself that I somehow felt overwhelmed by a strange mixture of emotions. I had already made a few friends and met the faculty members too. It had been a fun and interesting day so far.
But now suddenly at the end of the day, I had no one to go back to. I felt lost and lonely in my hostel room. I remembered what my parents always kept saying – “Whenever you go through a new experience or get a new thing in your life, you will be excited and elated about it in the beginning. But with time, that experience or that thing will become a part of your life. And this will become your new normal.”
I knew I was going through one such experience. I had been so happy, literally on cloud 9, this morning. But now, as the day was drawing to a close, I suddenly felt empty. It was my first night away from home. I looked around. And everything – the bed, pillow, water, roommate, blanket and room size too was different and new. Why I was even living in a new city and a new state. And suddenly I missed all my old things.
I sat up briskly and blinked back my tears when I realized that the only thing that was old and still with me was my heart. I missed my family that day. Very very much.
I tossed and turned in my new bed for a long time after dinner. But I could not sleep somehow. So I called my brother at 1 am in the night. I knew he would be busy with his work. He lived in a different country and was miles away from me. Yet I sensed that only my closest family members would be able to understand me right now. No one else. So I called him and poured my heart out to him. He understood my predicament immediately. He comforted me a lot and said he too had gone through the same experience when he had gone to study in a different country. And I felt a whole lot better after I talked to him that night.
I knew that I had broken through the warm shell of my comfort zone. Now it was up to me to create a new version of myself. I slept fitfully after that. The next day dawned all too soon. I woke up with a heavy heart. The reality was sinking in. I did not find my family around me. I knew my parents were just a phone call away. But not just a room away anymore. And despite my best efforts to control myself that single fact alone hurt me a lot. I don’t know why. I shook my head firmly and said, “Aditi, these experiences are going to transform you into a strong independent and bold person. Get a grip on yourself now.”
And the minute I walked out of my room things felt better. Much much better. But I did not get much time to dwell on my thoughts after that. I was busy attending my classes and they kept me engaged for the better part of the day. And I was very happy with the subjects that I had chosen. The classes were pretty interesting and kept me totally occupied.
Time flew. For the next few days, life was very hectic. My classes were going on in right earnest now. And I was busy for most of the day. And today, I noted with surprise that a month had passed by already. I smiled with satisfaction. I had been able to hold myself together with élan.
And as I walked out of my room I noticed that I had a spring in my step and a lot of determination in my mind. I had taken this huge change in my stride and it felt good. Of course, I missed my family a lot. Very very much. Every day. But I had a mission to fulfil, a dream to realize and a family and home to go back to too. And that thought alone gave me the courage to do what I had to. For myself.
Yes, this was going to be my personal journey. But I knew I had the moral support of my entire family and that was enough to keep me going. I smiled to myself. This change had created a new normal for me. It had taken me some time to adapt to it. But I loved my new normal now.