I still get annoyed when I think about this. I was happy with the work I was doing you know. And I had a lady boss. And she took the credit for the hard work that I did. Always. But I was okay with that. I headed a team of 12 members and we worked on some really great projects. So I would do my work quietly because I got a lot of satisfaction from it.
One day, she said, “I have been promoted as the national head. And so I am giving you a choice. You can either assist me as a deputy to the national head or hold on to the chance of becoming a regional head and taking my place here. So what will you choose?”
I said, “You are very clear about your decision, aren’t you? I can choose to work under you NOW or I will have to stick to what I am doing now and work under a different regional head if I am not given your position? What makes you think that I have only two choices? There is a third option too, you know?” And she says, “You mean you will quit?” I said, “Probably. Please give me a day’s time. I’ll get back to you tomorrow with my decision.”
And after that, she started calling me all through the day to know what my decision was. I ignored all her calls, grit my teeth, held on to my temper and thought about the whole thing calmly for a while.
One of my seniors had moved to a different firm as a VP a couple of years back. We shared a great rapport. So I called him. He knew this lady pretty well and quickly gauged my situation and asked me to send him my CV. He said he wanted people like me in his firm. And within a week I got a confirmation too from him saying that I had got a job in his firm for a better salary.
Meanwhile, I had to go to Mumbai for a week because we had been working on a project when all this happened. I got a good break from the tense atmosphere in the workplace. And it gave that lady enough time to poison the divisional head’s mind.
When I returned from Mumbai, I could sense his negative vibes. He would talk cordially with all the other team members and ignore me completely. The lady was out of the picture soon because she had to report for work in Delhi now.
I had been working in that firm for the past 9 years, you know. And we were all told that we would be informed about who the next regional head would be over an email. So I decided to wait till we got the email. And a week later, we got to know that a new male employee, who was just a year old in the firm had been appointed as the new regional head.
The divisional head had assumed I would continue working for the firm even if he appointed a junior – an inexperienced person to take up that lady’s position. So he was quite shocked when I handed in my resignation and started walking out of the firm. He asked me to wait in the office till he got back to me. I didn’t want to stay there anymore and create fodder for official discussions. But I had to – out of sheer decency.
After some time, he requested me to accompany him to the lift. I picked up my handbag. But he asked me to leave it on the table and collect it from there later on. And this was really like a typical Bollywood movie scene. Believe me. He hailed the first cab that he caught sight of and asked me to get into it with him. He then told the taxi driver, “Just keep driving somewhere, anywhere – till I ask you to stop. You can then take us back to the office.”
The taxi driver did so. And that is when he tried to talk me out of quitting my job. He said, “We need people like you. You are the face of our organization. Actually, we wanted to appoint you as the regional head. But you know, very well, don’t you – that we have to talk to several government officials when we work on their projects. We have to do all kinds of things there to get our work done. And such things are best handled by a man. That is the main reason why we appointed a man as the regional head. We don’t doubt or question the quality of your work. We value dedicated people like you…”
I said, “For the past 9 years, I did all the government-related work too. It was a part of my job. I was a woman then too. I still am. What makes you think that I cannot do the work that a man can? Why is gender suddenly an issue? Or is it an excuse to deprive me of what I truly deserve? My work should be valued and respected. How does gender matter when the work is done properly? And anyway, Sir – I have made up my mind. So nothing you say or do will make me change my decision. So I think it’s best we return to the office now.”
He didn’t know what to say. Really. I felt like laughing when I saw his face. Seriously. I mean just think about it. You know I had worked there for the past 9 years. I knew each and every nuance of the company and the team – inside out. And they expected me to work under someone who knew next to nothing about the firm? Just imagine.
Anyway – I had to go back to the office once more to hand over everything. And I was the only woman in that large meeting room that day. When this new junior regional head entered the meeting room, he went and sat with the other heads opposite me. When the divisional head entered the room, he astutely gauged the situation and came and sat beside me. I asked him not to do so. But he said I was sitting all by myself in front of an entire team – all male members – and he wanted to support me in some way. I just shrugged.
And I started handing over all the project files that I had worked on one by one. I explained the details explicitly and told them that I had commanded respect in all the government offices that I had gone to and never had to resort to any unfair means to get my work done anywhere so far. They were all flabbergasted when they heard this and knew that they had made a mistake.
The meeting ended but the divisional head lingered on for a couple of minutes and said, “I never knew about all this great work that you were doing for the company. I have heard quite a lot about your lady boss from the office grapevine. And I somehow assumed that you, another lady – who worked under her would be her spitting image. But you are a completely different person. So unlike her. Had I realized this earlier, I would have recommended you as the regional head. Not that man.”
I just walked out with my dignity intact. I mean why should I expend my energy trying to explain things to him? And suddenly nothing mattered anymore. I was relieved actually. That kind of tension can drain you a lot you know. That man – the divisional head – was a Punjabi btw.
And this is what I realized after the whole thing ended – that no matter how educated you are, how aware you are, how big a position you hold – at the end of the day – these gender biases continue to exist in the minds of such males. They still think women are inferior to men and cannot do the work that men can. And that’s the reality. Even in these so-called modern times.
And what about my lady boss? For her, I was a mere puppet– a person who did all the hard and dirty work – and she was happy with that because she got what she wanted – the accolades, limelight and credit. Instead of giving another deserving woman a leg up and helping her grow in the organization – she, my lady boss was only concerned about herself. It’s sad. But true. Women can often be another woman’s worst enemy.