Most of the people I work with call me Latha Miss. I want to talk to you about a boy called Sanjay. I work with slum dwellers. Okay, I actually work for HOPE – it is an NGO – and HOPE means Help Other People Every day. It is a worldwide organization and I can tell you this for sure – HOPE uses all the funds that it gets from various sources extremely judiciously.
Well, I was working in the tuition centre near this slum. And I would go and call the children for our tuition classes every day. Sanjay was a smart cheerful kid. He was going to appear for his 10th standard board exam. And I helped him with all the documentation too. I was sure he would create a bright future for himself after he cleared his 10th.
But fate had something else in mind for him. There was a park close to their slum and as usual Sanjay went along with his friends to play there that evening. I don’t know what happened exactly. Maybe they went to get their ball in that remote corner of the park. None of us had noticed that lamp post before. But Sanjay probably tried to climb on top of this lamp post to fetch the ball.
Now there was a high cemented layer around this lamp post. Sanjay did not notice the iron rod that was jutting out of the lamp post. He was probably busy looking for the ball in the downward direction. And he ended up hitting his head against that iron rod and fell right into that huge small cemented enclosure that they had created around the lamp post. He died instantly. And believe me; no one could even remove his body from there.
Sanjay died on a Friday. And just the previous Friday, this young lad was consoling me when my brother in law suddenly died of a heart attack. He said, “Don’t cry Latha Miss. We all have to die someday. If you fall sick who will look after his family. You must be brave at this time.” Yes, Sanjay had consoled me with such sweet words. No, I was not there when he died. But the slum dwellers immediately informed me. So I rushed back to help them.
I was there when they extricated his body from that enclosure. They had to remove all the bricks around the lamp post to remove his body. They then took his body for post mortem. I was there with his family until they performed his last rites. And I can never forget that day in my life. He was such a good boy – so full of life and enthusiasm and hope. He had the potential to create a better life for himself. But see how life takes a course of its own. We can do nothing about such things.
Yes, I counsel the women who live in slums and the wives of the fishermen community too. These women don’t know how to read and write. They have never been to school. Their husbands drink a lot and beat them up. So they use foul language and fight with their husbands when they return home drunk late in the night.
So I sit with them in the evenings and say, “You are a woman. You are the lamp of your home. If your husband drinks and returns home, just keep quiet. Don’t utter a single word. That is not the right time to talk to him. If you use foul language and ask him if he has gone to another woman – he will think about doing that too the next time. He would have never thought of doing such things on his own. You are planting that thought in his head. Most of your problems will get solved if you just keep your mouth shut. Remember that. Behave normally the next day too.
When you are sure he is completely sober and in the right frame of mind – make a cup of tea and sit with him. Offer it to him with love. And then discuss your problems with him in a gentle manner. Tell him you are anxious about your children and worry about their future. And how you are managing with the meagre salary that he brings home. Ask him if he can be a good father to his children if he behaves like that. And tell him how sad you feel when you see him drunk like that.
You can change the scenario and his behaviour too if you talk to him in the right manner. Else, he will just kick you out of the house with the children if he gets fed up with your constant screaming and nagging. Maybe he will go to another woman too just to prove things to you. Do you want that to happen?”
The women understand things when I speak to them directly like this. One day a fisherwoman came to my room and just started accusing and abusing me. I didn’t even know who she was and why she was yelling at me like this. I just listened to her patiently for a long time. She then sat down in the chair in front of me, started crying and apologized to me.
I said, “You were angry with your husband so you vented your anger on me. It is fine. Leave that. I have forgotten about it. But is this the way you should behave? Whatever happens with the four walls of your home should remain within the four walls only. If you go around talking ill of your husband to all and sundry, who will respect him? Do you know how hardworking your husband is? Is it really easy to catch fish?
Yet he brings home enough for all of you to sustain yourself. Have you ever gone fishing? Do you know how tough his job his? No? Yet, you sit here and accuse him because he cannot live up to your expectations. Are you doing anything to understand him or appreciate him? No? You only complain about him.”
Yes, that is how tough my job often is. I told you this before. But I will tell this to you again. These women don’t know how to read or write. They have never gone beyond their villages and they lead a very hard life. They are very poor. Very very poor. Now the women of this community look forward to my visits. They call me Kerala Miss and despite their poverty, they once offered me plenty of dried fish and a saree too. But I refused to take it from them.
So many people do such things for me. But I am not doing all this because I want gifts from them. I don’t earn a big fat salary but my husband and I earn enough to live in comfort. Yes, he too works for HOPE. And both of us are very very satisfied with the work that we do.
Yes, the people who work for HOPE work tirelessly to bring about a change in the lives of people who are not as fortunate as us. Yes Yes, I have been working for HOPE ever since I finished my 12th standard. It’s been several years now and I have been posted to three different places so far.
I was asked if I was willing to move to Chennai. But I refused. Chennai is an expensive city compared to Nagapattinam and my children are studying in a very good school here and we are happy with the work that we do. So we decided to continue working here.