We want our children to do what we feel is right. We get frustrated when they refuse to listen to us. But maybe they are right in their own way. That is the point Aditi is trying to make.
You know what? My younger bua called me stupid. Sometimes I get very irritated with her. She gives me long lectures. She calls me only whenever she wants me to do some work for her. Otherwise, she says she is always busy. That day I just wanted to check my elder bua’s birth date. So I called her.
I had gone on a trip with a big group of friends and had returned just a couple of days back. This is how it all started.
Bua: So how was your trip? Did you get to see the Ganga Aarti?
Aditi: My trip was great. No, we had to catch a bus. So we saw the Aarti on a TV screen.
Bua: Hmm… Okay. Which part of the trip did you enjoy the most?
Aditi: I loved the entire trip bua. But the best part of it was my bungee jumping experience.
B: How stupid is that? I mean why would anyone want to take part in a crazy adventure like that?
A: Bua!!! I am not stupid! You can’t call me stupid!
B: I didn’t call you stupid. I said that what you did was a stupid thing. What did you learn from it anyway?
A: I learnt to face my fears. It was a super once in a lifetime experience. I don’t know how to describe that feeling.
B: Why would anyone want to take a risk like that to conquer a fear? Adi – nothing is worth your life. Certainly not a stupid adventure sport like bungee jumping.
A: Bua!!!
B: No. Hear me out for two minutes. Then you can talk. I will listen to you after that. Give me two minutes first.
A: Okay. Only two minutes. And after that, you have to listen to me.
B: 20 years back, I was working as a teacher. I used to go to my school on a two-wheeler. One day, I got delayed. So I was driving really fast. It was raining. The roads were full of potholes and slippery too. But I knew nothing would happen to me. One of my colleagues saw me driving rashly on the road from the school bus that she was in. When we met during the break she told me that she didn’t like the way I was driving to school that morning. I calmly told her that I had never met with an accident and nothing would ever happen to me. She looked at me squarely and said, “Oh! Madam. I am not at all worried about you. If you break a hand or a leg, you will be busy resting in the hospital. But what about the other people on the road who get injured in the accident? What about your family members. Will you not be upsetting their routine by your accident? Why should others suffer due to your carelessness?” Adi, I sobered up that day. After that, I left home a few minutes early every day. I realized that I was a part of a family and a society. I owe it to myself and to others around me to drive safely on the road.
A: Now, it is my turn. You have to listen. First of all – you were at fault. You were driving rashly. And this incident has nothing to do with my bungee jumping experience. I want to experience all this now. I can decide for myself. Plus, my parents too did not object when I told them about it. They knew the risks involved were minimal. A reputed company organizes all these adventure trips. They take all safety precautions. Nothing happened to me. I am fine. I felt so good after I took that jump.
B: Was everyone else fine too? Did the entire group take part in it?
A: A couple of my friends decided not to do it. Nothing happened to any of my friends who did bungee jumping. Papa told me that a long while back, a young girl fell sick and was hospitalized after she did bungee jumping. He too heard it from his friend’s friend. He did tell me about it. But I told him I knew what I was doing. So he agreed to let me go.
B: Now my turn. A boy was attracted to a girl in my class. One day, this boy gathered all his courage and told the girl about his feelings. But the girl just laughed at him and told him that she was not interested in such things. The boy was so hurt by her remark that he went and lay down on the railway tracks. He wanted to commit suicide. He could not bear the pain of being rejected. Unfortunately, the train ran over his left leg. It had to be amputated and now he has to use a crutch for the rest of his life.
One mistake Adi. Changed his life forever. You can’t even call it a mistake. He could not deal with rejection. And he has to pay the consequences for it all through his life. What was his fault? What was the girl’s fault? But both of them feel guilty about this entire experience now. Plus he now leads a dependent life. He cannot walk normally like you and me – ever.
He could not control himself. You knew what you were doing. Is it easy to live without a hand or a leg? Just think. I understand that the risks are minimal. I know that accidents can happen on the road or anywhere else any minute. They are not in our control. This – bungee jumping adventure – of yours was a conscious decision. You assumed nothing would ever happen to you. Nothing happened to you. You did learn to overcome your fears. You are happy. Good. But what if something had happened to you? How would your parents have felt? Did that strike you?
A: I understand what you are saying bua. My family loves me and I should think about them too. But you don’t understand what I am saying. The risk involved is minimal. Anything can happen to anyone at any time. We can meet with an accident on the road at any time. But we don’t stop going out on the road because there is a risk involved, do we?
B: You do have a point. I agree. The risk involved is perhaps the same. Yes, maybe what you say makes sense. But somehow I don’t want anything to happen to my family members. I always want them to be safe. Maybe that is how all parents feel. But I still wouldn’t want you to do such things again. I still feel – nothing – repeat – nothing is worth risking your life. Certainly not a sport.
A: Yes bua. I understand what you are saying. I too don’t want my parents to worry about me. I am sorry I screamed at you. I didn’t mean to offend you. But I think I took the right decision.
B: That’s fine Adi. You can scream at me at any time. Just discuss things like this. We may not agree with each other but at least we respect each other’s beliefs.
A: Sure bua. I will keep that in mind. Now, can I go to the washroom?
B: You are asking me for permission to go to the washroom? After going bungee jumping?
A: Bua!!! Bye.
Well, I am certainly going to do whatever I want to do in my life. I don’t know if I will get a chance to go bungee jumping again. But maybe I will think a little before I take that decision the next time. Maybe……