I’m sorry. I don’t want to talk to you about it. I want to sit down quietly and write about him. Why? You know why. Because he was not just my grandpa. He was my best friend. That’s why. Only then I can do justice to the relationship that we shared. And I will write. About him. For him. Please give me a day’s time.
You know what? I am truly blessed to have a grandfather like him. I used to call him Motaji. He meant the world to me. You know this don’t you? He loved drinking tea. Also he was extremely punctual. He followed a strict routine and diet too. I knew he liked his tea to be brewed in a particular manner. And that it had to be served to him at a particular temperature.
When I was old enough to do so, I started making his special tea for him. And I would sit beside him and sip on my tea too. Usually, we did not chat much while drinking tea. We would simply sit quietly and enjoy the tea. If you ask me about it today – I don’t know what was special – the tea or the time we shared together. All I know is that I miss that shared time and realize how precious those moments were.
For the last decade or so of his life, he stopped going to our shop in Sowcarpet. He had become weak and frail and had to be hospitalized frequently. But he had a lot of will power. So he recovered and did his best to be physically independent. I would sit with him in the evenings. Sometimes in our verandah. Sometimes in the hall.
He loved the fresh air and our garden. He liked watching people move around our home. That is when he would tell me stories related to our epics or discuss our family history with me. He would always say that it was important to know about our roots. And sometimes he would talk about his childhood days too.
It was at such times that I realized that long long ago, he too had been a child and had spent some happy times with his friends and cousins. And he always had a smile on his face when he talked about his past. Yes, of course, I asked him questions too. But I could see that he had been a responsible person even when he was a young boy.
Sometimes, if I returned home late from college or work, I would unwind by just sitting and chatting with him. We would watch TV or listen to bhajans. I don’t know why. But I always felt much better when I spent my time with him like this.
He couldn’t move around much with his walker. So after a while, I started doing things for him. I would do all his work for him exactly the way he wanted it to be done. I would read the prescription and give him his medicines on time. And I loved sitting with him whenever he ate his meals.
Of course, we argued too. Most of our arguments were related to women. Sometimes, he openly told me that he did not want me to study any further or work too. But I ended up doing both. I got my Masters degree and started working too soon after that. That is when I told him about how many things I was learning by just interacting and working with others in an organization.
I explained all this in great detail to him when we spent our weekends together. And he realized that it was important for women too to be independent. I appreciate the élan with which he took all this in his stride. Really. It didn’t take him long to change his mindset.
Another thing I clearly remember is this. He was an early morning person. And I was a late-night person. We argued – really argued a lot about that. He loved me a lot. I knew that. So he stopped trying to make me change my ways. And now that he is no more, I understand the value of getting up early. It really helps you. A lot.
I feel sad about it now. He would have been so happy if he had seen this change in me when he was still alive. He would just laugh widely with disappointment when he saw me getting up late especially on weekends. Then he would talk about something else or ask me to do his pending work. He didn’t discuss that topic with me. Love can be strange, No?
I hated one of his habits too, you know. He always helped the wrong set of people. But he would look at me with a smile and say, “Ok. Calm down first. Come. Come here. Sit here.” I would obey him with a dour expression on my face. He would smile at me knowingly because he knew I was very annoyed with him. He would then touch my shoulder gently, pat me and say, “You must help as many people as you can to the extent that you can. It does not matter if you don’t like that person personally. What has that got to do with anything? They need our help. No? Help them if you can. But you should help them willingly, child. And never expect anything in return.”
I know. He wanted me to overcome the hatred that I had for people who took undue advantage of his goodness. He knew it too. But he focussed only on what he could do for the person and not on the character of the person. I still don’t understand that…
He also got very irritated whenever I spent a night at my friend’s place. He used to hate it. Absolutely hate it. He preferred it when my friends came over to our home. On one occasion, it so happened that I had fought with him before I went to stay the night at my friend’s place. He wanted me to return home after finishing my work instead of staying there. And I refused to do so.
He waited for me till 11.50 p.m. that night with the hope that I would return home because he had insisted on it. Yes, I was very annoyed with him that day. But I decided to return home though it was pretty late in the night. And met with an accident…..
He was so shocked when he heard the news the next morning. In fact, he could not control himself. He wanted to climb the stairs and come up to my room just to see me. When I came to know about it, I asked him to wait downstairs itself. I had several stitches on my knee and could hardly walk. But I went down just to meet him.
He broke down when he saw me. Completely. And I couldn’t speak. At all. So I just hugged him. Tightly. And that was the best feeling that I have ever experienced in my life so far.
Yes, he was a simple man who respected everyone. He knew how to manage his time. And he was a perfectionist too. But I’ll say this again. As many times as you want me to. He was not just my grandpa. He was my best friend. And I miss him.