I Try To Live By The Values That My Parents Have Passed On To Me

I was a very mischievous boy when I was young. Do you know what I did once? I took away my friend’s bike without his knowledge, lost my balance and rammed it against the pavement. I had a nasty fall. A lot of people gathered around me and carried me home. I couldn’t walk on my own. When my friends got to hear of the accident, they rushed to the spot to help me. Sadly, the bike was in pretty bad shape. My friend paid for the damages and got his bike repaired. But they were all worried about me. I was shocked out of my wits and slept for 24 hours – straight. That much I clearly remember.

My father, quite obviously, screamed at me. But my Ma just ensured that I recovered completely. Then she just said, “Don’t do such things again, okay?” And I just nodded at her.

My Ma was a strong woman. She helped my father run her business. We lived in a joint family at that time. I have an elder sister. But right from my childhood, I knew I was my Ma’s pet. She loved my elder sister too. There was no doubt about it. But she loved me more. If I didn’t like what was cooked at home, she would quietly give me some money and ask me to go out and eat whatever I wanted.

We were not very rich. I was aware of this right from my childhood. My dad would yell at me whenever I asked him for anything. So I would discuss the matter with my Ma. She would talk to my dad when she went to the shop, cajole him a bit and ask him for the money that I wanted. My dad would relent whenever my Ma explained things to him from my perspective.

My parents ensured that my sister and I got a decent education. I was an average student. But my dad shared a good rapport with all his community members and relatives. That is how I managed to get admission in a decent college despite getting average grades.

Right from my childhood, I was very helpful by nature. I would go out of the way to help others. I learnt several things along the way even while helping others. In college, I would write out the notes or get my notes photocopied for my friends. I would run errands for them and help them in whatever way they wanted. I made several good friends during this phase and even today, we all still keep in touch.

That I did not have as much money as they had – did not make any difference to my friends. They would pay for my snacks or ticket whenever we went out for a movie. They would insist that I accompany them. One of my Marwari friends was fascinated by the movie, “Oru Thalai Ragam.” We watched this movie 10 times. Yes, 10 times. It was fun. I loved hanging out with my friends. They appreciated all that I did for them. Maybe this was their way of showing their appreciation. Who knows?

I started an enterprise of my own when I was in college. I would make cardboard boxes for mithais and sell them to all the mithai sellers in our locality. Yes, I earned a fair bit of money for myself this way. No, I did not pay for my college fees or household expenses. That my parents took care of. I would pay for all the additional expenses that I incurred in college with the money that I earned.

After I finished studying, my father was very keen that I take up a decent job. My grandfather has incurred huge losses in his yarn factory. He had to sell one of the three houses that he owned to compensate for the loss. He gifted the second house to his sister who had six children and no house or income of her own. And so  my father and my uncle inherited one house after my grandfather passed away. My father had opened up a retail store for textiles. But it was not generating any income for the family. So he had to shut the shop for good.

Even at that young an age, I knew I was stubborn and independent. I was aware that I could never work under someone or for someone else. So I told my father that I would set up an enterprise of my own and would not lookout for a job.

He shouted at me, tried to make me see reason and did his best to talk me out of it. But I was clear about what I wanted to do. My mother looked after my cardboard boxes for mithais business now.  My father meanwhile had started working in a firm. He worked till his dying day. He was bedridden only for the last fortnight.

A few years later, I had a small shop of my own. Initially, I had to take a loan from a bank to set up my enterprise. Over the years, slowly, I repaid the loan and then started earning steadily. Within the next few years, my sister and I got married. I bore all the expenses for both our weddings but we were happy because we could live comfortably now. But our happiness was short-lived.

My father fell sick and was hospitalized for a long time. I would visit him in the hospital every day, buy all the medicines and whatever else he wanted. I could his pain and loneliness. So I made it a point to sit beside him and chat with him. I had a good assistant at that time so I asked her to take care of the shop until my dad got better. She was reliable and took complete charge of the shop.

My sister too came down to see him and my Pa told her, “My son has taken very good care of me. And that gives me a lot of solace.” Of course, she told me about it much later. Sadly, my Pa passed away after a few days.

I had just about recovered from this setback when my Ma and I realized that one of her vendors had duped her out of all her material. This man told her he was shifting his office so he carted all her material to his factory and never showed up after that. My mother was naïve enough to believe him and ended up incurring a huge loss.

This came as a big shock to her. And it pained her deeply when she saw me pay for all the losses with my hard-earned money. What else could we do? We had to pay the people we owed money to, No? I think  she passed away so quickly – after a few days –  because she felt very guilty about the whole thing. The doctors said she had brain fever when we admitted her to the hospital and within two days she died of a brain haemorrhage.

Life is such. Despite all the challenges that I faced in my life, I still try to live by the values that my parents have passed on to me. They would always say, “Once you have eaten in any person’s house, you should never betray them.” I still go to the temple before I open my shop. These are the small things that I have learnt from my parents and that is how I still remember them. I don’t have any regrets. I am at peace with who I am and where I am today and that is enough for me….