Yes, I Was A Responsible Child But I Made Mistakes And Have Regrets Too!

Boy pondering silhoutteI am the eldest child in my family. I have two brothers and two sisters too. I belong to a joint family. My cousin brother is as old as me. Right from our childhood years, my cousin brother and I loved to take the initiative and supervise things around our big house. We were encouraged to do so by our seniors because there was always more than enough to take care of around the house.

All of us studied in a good school but it was quite far from our house. We would all go off to school in our car and stay at our aunt’s (father’s sister’s) house till our car came to pick us up again. My father and uncle owned a shop which was close to our school. They had to attend meetings with other dealers quite often. So our car would often come to pick us up quite late.

We would dump our bags in our aunt’s house after school hours and run off to the street corner to play “gilli danda” or “gully cricket” or “seven stones” or “Blind man’s bluff” or “Chain”. My aunt was a wonderful woman. She loved kids and had several kids of her own. Her eldest son was my best friend.

Both of us would go off to our aunt’s kitchen as soon as we returned from school. While our younger brothers and sisters played outside, we would prepare snacks and tea for all of us. We would then call all of them to have their tea and snacks. They would pour into the house – tired, hungry and happy after playing for so long. They would eat what we had prepared with great gusto and appreciate our efforts. The next minute they would vamoose to resume their game.

We would clear up after them, ensure that the kitchen was in order and then join them in their game. We loved taking care of our siblings. I think I enjoyed taking care of my siblings more than playing games with them.

Back home, I could see how busy my mother always was. I knew she had to shoulder a lot of responsibility. So, I would go to my parents’ room every Sunday and do all the dusting and cleaning around their room. I would wipe down each and every book that they had in their bookshelf and replace them properly. I would visit the other guest rooms around our house and ensure that things were maintained properly there too.

I learnt the value of time from my father. Even today, I dislike people who do not complete things in a timely manner. It is my firm belief that all rituals and poojas must be conducted at a precise time – only then can we get the full benefit and the blessings of the Devta that we worship. I also believe in dressing up properly. Well oiled, combed back hair with a white dhoti and crisp starched white kurta and a ‘U’ shaped tilak – is all that is needed. Simplicity creates an aura of its own, no?

Yes, of course, I had fun. During the vacations, we would go off to our Masi’s house. She lived in a small town in a distant state. We would go by train. One of the assistants in our shop would accompany us. We would carry a big carton full of theplas, curd rice, tamarind rice, pickle and snacks for the train journey. We would never eat the snacks that were sold outside. It was a golden unwritten rule in our family – no one ever ate outside food. Ever. I think we all learnt that from the seniors of our family. We enjoyed such trips and chatted to our heart’s content during these trips.

One day, I walked off on my own to explore the area around my Masi’s house. It was a quiet place and I loved the farms around her house. After a few minutes, I could smell smoke and spotted a fire at some distance.

It was a brick kiln. I was so eager to find out how a brick kiln functioned, that I did not hear the alarmed screams of the workers. I continued walking and a few yards later, I could feel myself sinking into the soft smouldering ash. I screamed in agony as the smouldering ash scalded my skin.

I was fortunate – very fortunate indeed! The workers had seen me walk into the ash and had rushed to stop me. They pulled me out of the kiln within seconds and rushed me to a local mendicant immediately. They did not even bother to find out who I was. The ‘Baba’ took just one look at me. He looked around his cupboard for a minute and then immediately applied some medicated oil on my body. He continued to rub it into my skin with gentle strokes. He spoke to me in an alien language but knew I understood what he was trying to say.

The workers were anxious about me too. I gestured to them and told them my Masa’s surname. They clapped their head with remorse when they heard my “masa’s” name. I realized that they all worked for my masa.

The Baba then gave me a bottle of medicated oil and a small talisman made of our copper. He asked me to apply the oil on my body twice in a day and then bathe in cold water. He assured me that there would be no burn marks on my body. I thanked him for his timely help and left for my masi’s home with the other workers. My masa and masi were so relieved to see me safe and sound. They too thanked all the workers sincerely and rewarded all of them with a lot of money.

So you see – I may have been a very responsible child right from my childhood but I made my fair share of mistakes too. Do you see this ‘locket’ round my neck? I got this from that Baba. I wear it even today – as a mark of gratitude for them all.

Yes, I do have regrets too. My cousin brother passed away several years ago. We were a peaceful bunch of kids. We never fought or had any arguments as such. I don’t even remember what we had argued over that day. All I know is that it was a very trivial childish argument. But we never spoke or greeted each other after that day. Never. He did not talk to me and I did not talk to him – till his dying day. I regret that even now.

I love my younger brother a lot and we get along very well. But my youngest brother has very different views about almost everything. I think it is because he is almost 7 years younger than me. Somehow, no matter what I do or how much ever I try to understand him – we just never seem to get along with each other. I love him as much as I love my other brothers and sisters.  But there is a strange kind of diffidence between us even today.

I don’t know. Often, at this age, when I sit for long periods of time by myself – I wonder why I am still unable to make or find peace in my relationship with him. That is the only regret I have now. I hope we are able to set aside our differences and forge a bond of love before it is too late…..