I belonged to a very rich family. Yes. Belonged. We had several carriages at our disposal and servants by the dozen in our palatial bungalow. I could eat whatever I wanted to whenever I wanted to. But the seniors in our family gambled away almost all our wealth.
We could no longer lead an extravagant life. We could live in comfort though. I was not a very studious student. I went to a good school but discontinued going to school after 8th standard. At that time, girls didn’t need to complete their education. We had no choice in such matters.
A few years later, my parents decided to get me married. One of our family friends knew a family very well. He did not reveal any details about the family. He said we could decide about that later on. He asked us to just have a look at the boy first.
We had no problems doing so. The family visited us and after a while, the boy and I got to speak to each other in private. I don’t know what I saw in that boy but I knew I liked him a lot. He looked like a simple person with no superfluous airs. He had an aura of calmness around him. It looked as if he knew what he wanted from his life. I liked his parents too.
They left after a couple of hours. I told my parents that I liked that boy and would love to get married to him. That is when my parents shared all the details about the family with me. They said, “The family is good. But they are not financially well off. The boy has set up his practice recently and does not earn much now. His father earns a fixed salary and they live in an old house. You will not be able to adapt to their lifestyle. So let us consider looking out for a more suitable match for you.”
I did not know how to reply to that. So I just kept quiet. But a few weeks later, I realized that my family had started looking out for other boys whom they thought would be more suitable for me.
That is when it struck me that I loved the boy that I had met first. I was very sure that I wanted to get married only to him. I told my family about my decision. They did their best to convince me otherwise and we had several ugly arguments about it too. But I was adamant about my decision.
My family members did not have much of a choice now. So they invited the family to our house again. When I met the boy I said, “I like you. I want to get married to you. Do you like me? Would you like getting married to me?” The boy looked at me directly and said, “I like you too. But I cannot keep you in luxury. I am still struggling to set up my practice. It may take me years to become financially stable. I want you to be aware of all this before you consider getting married to me. Take your time and think through the whole thing. You may not be able to lead a life of comfort too with me if you get married to me. I don’t want you to regret it later on.”
I looked right back at him and said, “ I have faith in you and your ability. That is enough for me. I am clear about getting married to you. It’s you who have to make up your mind now.” He had a thoughtful expression on his face for a couple of minutes. He then gave me a small shy smile and said, “I would love to get married to you….”
The seniors of our families took care of the rest. I was happy to marry a man of my choice. I knew our marriage would work. For the first couple of weeks, things were fine. I was treated with a lot of respect and love. But after that, I slowly sobered up to reality. I was not pampered in my mother’s house. But I could eat as much as I wanted to, whatever I wanted to whenever I wanted to. Here all of us had to eat whatever was cooked.
Towards the end of the month, if we ran out of money, we would have to cook fewer chappatis and sleep on a half-empty stomach. No, we did not have to starve on any day. We managed to get by if we lead a simple frugal lifestyle. I spent the entire day doing all the household chores along with my mother in law.
She had to keep strict control over the budget because my father in law was the only person who earned a steady income. My husband was not yet earning well enough. I found it very difficult to adjust to all this. I realized that this is what my parents had been warning me about before I got married.
I had dismissed it so casually at that time because I had fallen in love with my husband. Unfortunately, love does not always blossom on an empty stomach. I started arguing with him and my mother in law too. I tried to make them understand that things could be managed in a better manner even within the stipulated budget but I failed. Miserably.
That is when my father in law suggested that we move to another house. I wondered if we could live within the meagre income that my husband was earning. But we decided to move out….
The rented house that we lived in was extremely small but I spent the best years of my life there. Within the next decade, our lives turned around completely. We were blessed with three beautiful daughters and my husband was earning a steady income now.
I started helping him with all the paperwork. He showed me how to fill the forms and buy shares. I learnt a lot about banking too from him. He would give me clear instructions each day and I would follow them all whenever I finished my household chores.
It is strange indeed. But such is life. My relationship with my mother in law changed for the better after we moved out. Maybe she realized how I worked hard willingly all through the day despite coming from an affluent family. She now spoke gently and kindly to me and offered to babysit our daughters when I went to the bank to submit the forms etc.
No, we did not grow rich overnight. But our lives were brimming with happiness now. We lived in a tiny house but we loved one another a lot. And that I feel is the best blessing that God showers only on a chosen few.
My husband was very particular about the education of our daughters. In fact, they are all married now and are doing well professionally too. We realized all our dreams in our lives. We are financially very comfortable now. My in-laws passed on a few years back. So we moved back to our old house. We have no complaints or regrets whatsoever.
I am glad I married the man of my choice. Yes, this is the most important thing that I learnt from my life: as long as we are willing to adjust and do any kind of work, we can be very happy even if we have very little money….